I’ve recently been going around town with a couple friends asking people to creatively express their vision of a Post-Patriarchal world and sharing the responses on an instagram page and website. On the surface, it would appear I am delusional, both in asking this question given our current state of ‘pubic’ affairs and given my self-identified gender, race and sexual orientation. ‘Who does this silly white dude think he is asking this ridiculous question?’Read More
Sometimes life deals us a shitty deck of cards. In my case it was a seizure last summer that led to the diagnosis of a Stage III Anaplastic Astrocytoma in my brain, a malignant brain tumor…
We all have a life path that shows itself over time, some of the time it’s bumpy and ugly, some of the time it’s smooth and beautiful. In my view it’s not worth consistently focusing on the details of the bumps, obstacles and challenges but rather understanding how to grow through them.Read More
Stop. Can you identify the thing you want to do most in this moment? How about next week? What is the most epic thing that you wish you could do? Now, what keeps you from doing it? How many of those obstacles are real and how many of them are made up? How many could be eliminated with ease?
These days I’m finding immense joy in making art, creating sacred space and sharing this art and space with other humans in unique, unexpected ways.Read More
Yesterday I felt the familiar ‘aura’ as I turned my car into an alley down the street from my house. I have a habit of driving down the alleys of my neighborhood and feeling comfort in the tight single lanes, sandwiched between fences, dog barks, forgotten fruit trees, gang tags and crusted garage doors.
This time I wasn’t able to celebrate the special texture of the alley as my mind was focused on getting home, ‘don’t lose it, be strong Ethan’ I told myself, control could be lost at any moment.Read More
The truth is, just about every statement or question about my personal well being seems to come around to my health, my brain tumor, my seizures, my treatment protocol, my prognosis. There’s a hidden reality behind all those details which is important to acknowledge. It’s the discomfort in that twitch, the realization of the deepest truth, that my expiration may come sooner than yours. I like to approach it with the euphoria and gusto of a mad scientific discovery, I’m gonna f**kin die!Read More
Today lets play with the word ‘radiate’. I have been ‘radiating’ daily for the last 5 weeks and I think it’s really working, I think I am actually starting to truly radiate. Tis strange since what I call radiating is what most people call radiation treatment but I am feeling the double meaning hard and have been integrating a few additional practices to shine as brightly as possible through this experience.Read More
I’ve been taking a lot of medicine lately. It started with the seizure and ramped up after surgery. My daily regimen isn’t too crazy now but it’s definitely a change to be ingesting pills twice a day, something I luckily never did with regularity in my life… Alongside all the pharmaceutical prescriptions, I’ve discovered a number of medicines that have been integral in healing my body and spirit beyond pill form.Read More
At 1am on the 29th of June, I was in bed with a serious fever when my body was overtaken with what felt like a muscle spasm in my right leg and turned into a full blown seizure. I tried to breathe down the spasm as I felt my body tense up my right side and over to the left, my frame fully flexing, the muscles and bones starting to crack as I became terrified, unable to move.Read More