What’s The Straight, Cis, White Man’s Role in a Post Patriarchal World?

I’ve recently been going around town with a couple friends asking people to creatively express their vision of a Post-Patriarchal world and sharing the responses on an instagram page and website. On the surface, it would appear I am delusional, both in asking this question given our current state of ‘pubic’ affairs and given my self-identified gender, race and sexual orientation. ‘Who does this silly white dude think he is asking this ridiculous question?’

Read More
The Most Beautiful Gift You Can Give

Over the last few days I’ve been building a new Love Extremist website. In this process I am challenged to introduce myself and share a recent photograph. Surely I could find no shortage of great shots to share having such talented photographer friends. However, when I began digging, I couldn’t find any photos of me smiling. There were plenty of amazing, ‘cool’ shots from recent journeys I’ve taken, but the joy was subtle, masked behind a pop of red on my car or a little flash of teal in my outfit, no clear Ethan ‘cheesin’ to be found.

Read More
In These Volatile Times, Spreading Joy is an Act of Resistance

It’s easy to get caught in the collective stress, fear, anger, frustration and pain du jour. It seems that every hour there’s a new serving of negative news, lots of it coming from the seats of power in Washington DC and plenty more traveling across the planet through tragedies of nature, commerce, violence and warfare. If you choose to pay attention, it’s hard not to become affected by the waves of panic, anger and fear and for many it takes a toll on the body.

Read More
How Will You Play the Hand You’ve Been Dealt?

Sometimes life deals us a shitty deck of cards. In my case it was a seizure last summer that led to the diagnosis of a Stage III Anaplastic Astrocytoma in my brain, a malignant brain tumor…

We all have a life path that shows itself over time, some of the time it’s bumpy and ugly, some of the time it’s smooth and beautiful. In my view it’s not worth consistently focusing on the details of the bumps, obstacles and challenges but rather understanding how to grow through them.

Read More
Destination Del Sol: ‘It’s About Finding Your Highest Excitement’

Stop. Can you identify the thing you want to do most in this moment? How about next week? What is the most epic thing that you wish you could do? Now, what keeps you from doing it? How many of those obstacles are real and how many of them are made up? How many could be eliminated with ease?

These days I’m finding immense joy in making art, creating sacred space and sharing this art and space with other humans in unique, unexpected ways. 

Read More
Nobody Heals Alone

Yesterday I felt the familiar ‘aura’ as I turned my car into an alley down the street from my house. I have a habit of driving down the alleys of my neighborhood and feeling comfort in the tight single lanes, sandwiched between fences, dog barks, forgotten fruit trees, gang tags and crusted garage doors.

This time I wasn’t able to celebrate the special texture of the alley as my mind was focused on getting home, ‘don’t lose it, be strong Ethan’ I told myself, control could be lost at any moment.

Read More
How to Talk To Someone Who’s Dying

The truth is, just about every statement or question about my personal well being seems to come around to my health, my brain tumor, my seizures, my treatment protocol, my prognosis. There’s a hidden reality behind all those details which is important to acknowledge. It’s the discomfort in that twitch, the realization of the deepest truth, that my expiration may come sooner than yours. I like to approach it with the euphoria and gusto of a mad scientific discovery, I’m gonna f**kin die!

Read More
These Days, Being a huMAN Sure Ain’t Easy

It seems like every day a news story breaks about a man in a position of power using their sexual energy without consent or respect. The stories I hear in the news are usually about men who are respected in their chosen profession, with public personas who many would never consider to be capable of such toxic behavior. While those who are calling out this toxic behavior continue to show immense bravery, speaking out against harassment and trauma, I’ve experienced an eerie silence amongst us men.

Read More
You Are an Exotic Vacation

Our physical bodies can exist as our living rooms, private beaches, quiet stoops and vibrant, colorful studios. Every unique individual has many rooms. Every space can host their inner self and others. When I spend time with my friend Will I feel like I’m in a massive library or museum, full of art books, photographs and masks from other cultures. My experience of Audrey is a blend of a comfy, colorful living room from the 70s with the fireplace ablaze and the quiet calm of the woods. Maceo is a classically designed theater in the round with a freestyle cypher happening outside.

Read More
To Radiate

Today lets play with the word ‘radiate’. I have been ‘radiating’ daily for the last 5 weeks and I think it’s really working, I think I am actually starting to truly radiate. Tis strange since what I call radiating is what most people call radiation treatment but I am feeling the double meaning hard and have been integrating a few additional practices to shine as brightly as possible through this experience.

Read More
Life Drugs

I’ve been taking a lot of medicine lately. It started with the seizure and ramped up after surgery. My daily regimen isn’t too crazy now but it’s definitely a change to be ingesting pills twice a day, something I luckily never did with regularity in my life… Alongside all the pharmaceutical prescriptions, I’ve discovered a number of medicines that have been integral in healing my body and spirit beyond pill form.

Read More
Here We Go Strong

At 1am on the 29th of June, I was in bed with a serious fever when my body was overtaken with what felt like a muscle spasm in my right leg and turned into a full blown seizure. I tried to breathe down the spasm as I felt my body tense up my right side and over to the left, my frame fully flexing, the muscles and bones starting to crack as I became terrified, unable to move.

Read More